The Next Chapter

10:00p.m. MST – 12:00a.m. EST

Some words from one of my heroes, Butch Walker
12/25
"I just want to say that life is precious. Life is wonderful. Life is unpredictable. So please, go out and live your own. It’s going to only get weirder and wilder from this point on, so please, don’t sit in your little bubble and listen and follow what you have been taught or told your whole life (because there’s a 72% chance that it was all BULLSHIT). You have the ability to take chances, sleep on floors in random strangers’ houses, drive around the country, fly around the world (if you can afford a ticket), backpack anywhere, and believe anything and nothing. Whatever it is that you choose to do, just do it, and act on impulse and will. I can smell it on people a mile away if they were brought up as carbon copies of their own peers. The shirts, the lingo, the philosophy, the record collection, etc… just take chances because you will never regret that. This is a promise."

I spent New Year’s Eve last year driving. I had been visiting my family in Florida from where I was living in Virginia, and I had to be back in Chesapeake for work on the first, so at six a.m. on December 31st, 2009, I left Port Charlotte, where I had been visiting my friend Gene, with my mom. We stopped for breakfast and I dropped her off in Orlando at nine. I picked up my things and my rat, Lily, and headed north. I drove all day, cracked out on red bull and Starbucks Double Shots. It was a difficult day.
The drive was long, and would have been fine, except for the possum that ran out in front of my car on Highway 58E. I had never hit an animal before, and the guilt was voracious. To make matters worse, the conditions which prohibited me from seeing the possum were the same conditions which prevented me from getting out to check on it. If I had stopped my car and gotten out, chances were very great that another car would have come speeding along through the blackness and I, myself, would have become roadkill. I didn’t stop.
I got back to Virginia Beach just before midnight. I went inside to find Sam watching the New York City times-square festivities; so, exhausted though I was, I sat with him to watch. It was too much, though, to see poor Dick Clark fumble through the count-down with his stroke-stricken body. I went to bed thoroughly depressed. Way to bring in the new year, right?
But the next morning brought a new year, and new opportunities to embrace the world with open arms. I accept my sadness the night before as evidence of my compassion, but the life is about so much more than just that. And through the year I certainly lived.

11:00p.m. – 12:00a.m. CST

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” – Edith Lovejoy Pierce, twentieth century poet and pacifist.

This year past has been the most incredible year: full of strife and success, with passion, joy, and heartache.
I began the year in Virginia, right on the oceanfront, with wonderful roommates and great friends. My store was like another family and I was happy. The time came for me to make my way, and I headed west to Colorado. This brought about a replay of the timeline of my self-discovery. It was beautiful. However, things weren’t all smooth sailing. I had my share of trials. Homelessness, hunger, and theft all plagued my days. But they did only one thing to me. They made me stronger. Through my suffering, I found forgiveness, self-reliance, and resourcefulness. I made my days count, and I took every opportunity that presented itself. I never missed a Friday night or a road trip. I explored the countryside and found coincidence. I lived. I truly lived. And so, the days passed. Now I find myself in the canyons of Idaho, with farmland to the north and south, friends all around, and more trials to deal with at every turn.
I grow every day.

The new year is coming up quickly now, and I foresee a prosperous year, filled with challenges, new friends, and resolutions kept. Now, I don’t have standard one year resolutions. I made a list two years ago. This list has a variety of things on it which I wanted to accomplish within four years. I was inspired to make this list by the presidential election. If we can demand so much of a single man, we can demand so much of ourselves. I wanted to improve upon myself as much as I want to see this country I love so much improved. Here I am now, halfway through my time, and I can say with no reservations, that I’m proud of myself. I’ve allowed myself the luxury of re-thinking my list as time goes on. I realize certain things aren’t as important to me as I may have once believed; and I also realize other things are important. Losing weight isn’t actually something I feel I need to do. What I do need to do, however, is to truly accept myself for who I am. I am beautiful, and I know it, but I have to know it with every fiber of my being. I’m getting there. As long as I’m healthy and happy, nothing else matters. Living in Pennsylvania and half of the other states I wrote down isn’t really important to me. I’d like to see them, sure, but what is important to me is making the most of the places I do live. So I do. Travelling to Europe and learning new languages is very important to me. I’ve realized that I can’t just wait until I have the money to do things the way I dream to do them. I can put one foot in front of the other where I am now and slowly make my way. So I am.

12:00a.m. MST

Happy New Year.
Fireworks sound outside, and I feel joy over the throbbing in my head. My throat scratches, but my heart pounds still, and I am happy. Yesterday was a hard day, but today is a new day, with new opportunities for adventure. I’m ready. Welcome to 2011, the next chapter in the story of your life. Write it well.

“I want to spread a message to everyone I know and everyone I will know, that life isn’t about looking back with regret, or even looking forward with longing. Life is about looking around you exactly where you are now and embracing the world you live in. Now is the time to make changes if they are to be made. Now is the time to celebrate what should be cherished. Right in this moment is the only place you ever truly are, and the person you see in the mirror is the true you. Be how you’ve always wished to be instead of waiting for something or someone else to come and change you. Once you’ve learned how to take hold of the life you’re living as you live it, the possibilities are endless.” – Carolyn Della Malva, poet, sculptor, traveler, barista, friend, fan, and avid wearer of socks 01/01/11

In an hour it will be 2011 across the country. I'm going to bed soon, ready to start a new day and beat this cold that's been plaguing me since just before Christmas. In the meantime, I want to wish everyone I know a happy new year. I love you all. Good night.