Higher Dimensions of Love

I feel sorry that other people know my family so much better than I do. I know that all I would really have to do is be close to them in order to be closer to them, yet I find that so difficult to manage. I wish we had never moved to Los Angeles. I wonder what my life may have been like had we lived in Canada my entire life.

My name is Carolyn Emily Della Malva and I am 22 years old. I started to play the violin when I was a child, like my cousins did. I am an artist and a musician, although I focus my attention more than anything on my education. I have my bachelor's degree in Biology and am studying to become a veterinarian. I have a boyfriend and our relationship is strong and healthy. We are talking about getting married one day. I want to be married in the church where my parents were married.
My closest two friends are my cousins Calan and Leila. Although we cannot be together as often as when we were younger, we still see each other at special events, like when Leila sang at her recital, and every chance we get to see The Lucky Machetes in action.
I'm very close with my Aunts, Paola on my Father's side, and Catherine on my Mother's side. They've helped to shape me into the strong and confident woman that I am. I see them and my other extended family as often as I possibly can. I never forget a birthday.
In my future, I forsee myself getting my PH.D. in Veterinary Medicine and getting a job as a vet in the clinic where I already work as a tech. I see myself getting married to the man I love and taking our mentioned honeymoon around Europe and Asia together. We are both in love with India, and we have my Auntie Catherine's advice on when and where to go when we get the time. I've already travelled to Africa with my cousin Sara to aid the children in Burkina Fasso, and we're planning a trip back again within the next few years.
My brother and I get along. He is supportive of my art and my work. We write songs together sometimes when we have the time to get together.
I'm happy and stable and, to be honest, a bit sheltered and naive. I have never had to worry about where I would be sleeping or where I would find food. I believe that people are good, and I have high expectations. I respect myself in every way and I'm proud to be where I am.
I hope to someday go skydiving.

I typed the sentence "I have a pet dog, a maltese." and that's where I stopped myself. I couldn't go on. I know that, even if we had never moved, we probably would have ended up with a maltese because of my persistent love of animals, and my brother's and my own allergies to dander. But I realized that we would have gone to a different breeder, and wouldn't have ever had our Prince. And when we went to get a companion for this dog, we would have gone to yet another different breeder and wouldn't have ever had our Duchess. No Duchess. That would mean that Duchess would have been adopted by someone else. I can't deal with the thought of it. Maybe, yes, she may have gone to someone who would have loved her as much as I love her... but maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have. I can't bear to imagine someone hurting her or ignoring her or anything of the like. I can't.
So my little fantasy world blinked out of existence that quickly.

I know that my life has been, and will continue to be, less than perfect; but it has led me to where I am today. My life has brought to me the friends and the loved ones that are in my life and who have helped to shape me into the person that I am. Who am I to say what my life would be like had we never left Canada. I have no way of knowing that it would be so much better. I watched the explanation of the ten dimensions on YouTube again yesterday night. Today I saw a short video about a man who claims to have gone briefly to the future and pleasantly met himself. Maybe, in one of the infinite possible parallel universes which could exist, mirrorring our own, my character lives a pristine life. However, I know there are probably a million scenarios of an equal or lesser fate for my parallel self for every one positive or seemingly perfect selfs I can imagine. I am here, now, with this past and this present, ever enclosing on my influenced future, because that is where I was meant to be.
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I am here now, and for all the horrors of this world, to have suffered as comparably little as I have; for that I am lucky and I am grateful... and I am proud.

My name is Carolyn Emily Joan Heather Augustana Della Malva, and I hope, one day, to be closer to my extended family. In the meantime, I am living my life to the best of my ability. I am stubborn and I am strong and I refuse to let myself be unhappy. I therefore do whatever I have to do to make sure that I live with no regrets and with no unfulfilled ambitions. So when I say that I hope to one day be closer to my extended family, I mean that one day, it will happen. It will happen.

I love copiously, and I strive to spread that feeling.

Maiyana said "Thank you." today, and hugged me. And I could feel that she meant it. And the hugs of Mason and Imani were just as genuine. I made a difference here. A small one, maybe, but a difference nonetheless.
I reached out and gave encouragement.
I was love.
I still am.
I always will be
<3