Travels? Well yes, definitely. Thank you.

So San Diego, huh?
Yep. Freaking wonderful. I came home with my heart full, but unsatiated. My compulsion to travel carried me still (carries me still) and I had another trip already planned.
I had originally intended to travel to Europe with my friend, George, in September.

I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN’T WRITTEN ABOUT EUROPE! HOLY CRAP!
Oh geez… I’m so behind… I can’t believe how negligent I’ve been in writing and keeping this blog up to date. Wow. Okay. I have my work cut out for me. We’ll come back to Europe then, I suppose, and move on to this story. I’ll tell you about it soon, though.

Okay. So I originally intended to travel to Europe with my friend, George, in September. And when this was our plan, I was going to quit my job and drive to Florida in the middle of August with all of my possessions in tow. I’d store my things away at my parents’ house or in a storage unit in town and then jet off with Georgeo after spending a week or two in Orlando finalizing our plans and seeing my folks. Back when we were establishing this timeline, I told Niki, my bestest buddy from California, about it and invited her to fly out to Florida to meet me for the couple of weeks I would be there. She jumped at the chance and I was stunned. I had invited her copious times before and each time she had seemed enthusiastic but had never followed through. I understand, she isn’t a traveler at heart, and her parents are protective of their baby. I was never disappointed really… I think I knew she would make it eventually. So there she was on the other side of the telephone line, telling me she was going to buy her plane ticket in just a few weeks and I was floored!
Over the weeks a few things happened. Mainly two: George’s sister got sick and my Citizenship Application went through.
George’s sister was diagnosed with cancer of the everything, basically, and had to undergo surgery and all sorts of different treatments and George wasn’t sure if she’d be able to pull through. We decided together that he should stay with her, to support her and be with her as much as he could. We decided to postpone our trip until April 2012.
I applied for my American citizenship a few months ago. I figured it was easier to leave the country for a long period of time if I had an American passport to come back with. I didn’t want to run into any hassle at the border pertaining to my residency. Frankly, I never wanted to have to dispute my right to live in the US. Having been raised in the US, I’m more American than Canadian anyway, and I felt that it was time. It was past due, really. So I applied, with no reservations. With both my father and brother being naturalized citizens, I had no doubt my application would be accepted, and I submitted it hoping that my oath appointment would be scheduled before our original departure date in September. It was. They sent me my letter with my appointment set for August 18th. I was thrilled with only one exception. Now that we were postponing Europe, I no longer was going to be driving to Florida that month… and the appointment was in Orlando. So I had to go anyway- might as well make the best of it! I told Niki we were still on and bought myself a plane ticket to save some time and money. I flew out to Florida the day before my appointment, hung out with my brother and his friend Kevin from our childhoods (kind of an unplanned reunion of sorts), got myself naturalized, waved a flag, sang a song, then went on as if nothing had happened save for the almost uncontrollable urge to greet everyone as Citizen. (“Good afternoon, Citizen,” “Excuse me, Citizen,” etc.) I spent about a week lounging around being a good for nothing bum and borrowing my mom’s car to go to see friends in faraway places, and waiting for Niki.
And then there was Niki! We did all the usual tourist type things. We went to Gatorland and SeaWorld. My friend Malyssa, from high school, works at Disney, so she took a group of us, me, Niki, my brother Joseph, and his girlfriend, Jen, and we all did joyous gallivanting in the happiest place on earth all day long. Niki and I did photo booths and Rocky Horror Picture Show and hookah and swimming and exploring and getting drenched in classic Florida torrential downpours and all sorts of other wonderful together things. We spent ourselves utterly and had the most amazing time. She spent only five days or so, and this left just me and my family for the rest of the time. It was fine, we had fun.
My mom has been really well, and it was nice to hang out with her when she was free. My father is still too skinny… thinner now than ever, with hollow cheeks and stick arms. It’s hard for him to drive a lot, and he hadn’t ridden his motorcycle in a long time. He played me an audio track of a story he wrote about me for his Spanish class. We were both sobbing by the end. He was translating as it went along, it was a beautiful story about him talking to the moon about the growing distance between himself and me, his daughter. The moon’s reply was comfort with allusion to the moon’s relationship with her own child, the sun. “Look for me in the morning sky and you’ll understand.” I have the Spanish words. I need to translate them. It was beautiful, and I’m afraid it was some sort of epitaph on our relationship, like he wants me to know that’s how he feels before he dies. It was a nice moment, but was really hard.
My brother… well… he tried, I think. He got cruel toward the end of my stay. He said some really low things that put me out of my mood entirely. I don’t even know if he realizes when he does it. He must. Saying thing like, “you’re so obsessed with yourself,” and “oh well, at least I’m better than you,” can’t be done entirely without awareness, can they?
It doesn’t matter. He’s three thousand or so miles away again, and I don’t have to try to make excuses for him. I love him and I’m proud of him, but I can’t be around him and stay happy so I stay away and I stay happy.
Someone said something to Gretchen the other day, and she told me this yesterday. They said “Auggie only cares about Auggie.” Or something to that effect. That kind of stung a bit. Gretchen replied something like “Auggie takes care of Auggie because no one else will.” And it’s true. But still. I don’t think I’m uncaring toward others in my effort to care for myself. I don’t want to go into some great list of all the things I do for me and what I do for others and try to search for balance… I know I’m a caring person. Just because I don’t fall in love with and marry and have children with any of the guys I hang out with doesn’t mean I’m some sort of bad person. I’m single. I’m dating. That’s not a crime.
I can’t seem to think of any other part of who I am and how I act that what that person said could be referring to… I’m a good person.
Oh well. I’m a good person.
So Florida was beautiful and fun, but when it was over I was ready to leave. Coming back to the cool summer was a huge relief (did I mention it had been AUGUST when I went to FLORIDA!?!?) and I spent the next month trying to save for my trip the next month.
September showed up and brought with it my opportunity to go to Virginia for Spaghettifest and some Jason Mraz goodness. It was a super adventure of wonder and joy, and I think it’s a story for next time.
My friends, I believe we’ve established here some fine points:
I’m a good person (I think)
Niki is soooooooooo great
Myssa rocks my Disney socks
Joseph can be a bit of a prat
I’m trying to be a good person (trying)
I love my Babbo more than he can possibly imagine
FLORIDA SUCKS IN AUGUST
etc.
And also, I love you.

I haven't given up on you, blog! Don't give up on me, either!

I haven't been posting... I am a loozur.
That's not true.
Well... it's true that I haven't been posting. But I'm not so much a loser. I've actually been doing a lot of winning recently. There has been so much going on in my life and it's hard for me to know if it's me or if it's just Bellingham that's building me so.

Well let's start at a good starting point. I've been travelling. A lot. I drove down the coast to San Diego in July. I met my best and longest standing friend, Niki, at her home in San Mateo, and we journeyed down together. I was pressed for time, having been able to take only a week off work, so we only got to spend a day there. But it was an incredible day. I got to spend another perfect day at Twiggs on Park and Madison. I saw Mike. He's one of the people in the world I love so very much. He lives in an apartment above the coffeehouse and spends his days sitting out front, drinking and playing sultry-like on the guitar. He's so careworn and mellow, he inspires me to slow down more often. I wrote him a letter the morning Niki and I left. I told him that I love him. I've never done that before. I've shared love with a lot of people and I've loved a few deeply, but I've never looked someone in the eye and said them in their slightly cliche "three little words" type way. Technically I still haven't, since it was in letter form. But I wrote it. And I meant it. So it counts.
I know I'll never actually be with him, but I don't care. I know it's nice to have love shared with you, and I know how incredible it feels to give love, so I give it freely. I love a lot.
I love San Diego. The corner of Park and Madison, across the street from Mueller College, with painted city fixtures and wholly beautiful people strolling by, stopping to talk, sharing smiles, that corner is my favourite place in the world and it's what heaven must feel like.
I also got to see Chanti and Johnny and I had a fantastic time singing at Mueller after a show there finished and a great group of people gave me some really positive feedback and inspired me to start work on a CD. I got to meet some new friends, particularly Running Cloud, or Dwain, who sends me neverending hugs and pokes on Facebook. It's nice to know someone's thinking of me.
Along the drive home I left some long-distance love messages for some beautiful people from my friend Julz in Maryland. She and I were originally planning on making the west coast trip together; unfortunately her health took a turn for the worse again and she was laying up with some blood clotting problems and needing to focus on some healing, so I made my other plans and decided to work as her love ambassador instead. I went to the Gratitude Cafe in Los Angeles and left love notes for her friend Nikki (("Julz Manlapaz sends you a humongous high-five, via her friend and love messenger, Carolyn, all the way from Maryland xoxoxoxoxo")) and Jon. (("Dear Jon, Your soul sister, Julz Manlapaz, one of the most amazing people I know, sends her love via her gypsy-type friend, Carolyn Della Malva. We love you and everything you are. <3 Julz and Carolyn p.s. I drive the country with love in my heart & blend apparel stickers on my car.")) (Jon is the owner of Blend Apparel, and is another lovely and extraordinary person whom I am looking forward to meeting someday).
Niki and I also stopped in at Jitters in Solana Beach to send a love message to a barista there, Vallie, who was there when we stopped in, so hugs were given in person. Also there for in person hugging was, none other than, Billy! It was so fantstic to run into him. He's such a joy and I love him so! We got to juggle together for a few minutes and he taught me some cool new tricks (none of them I've been able to pull off... but that will come in time, I know) and, when we were leaving, quoted some "red-round pound" from my "I like you, Billy" poem from back in D.C., so that was a huge affirmation for me. Niki and I headed from there to the beach where I wrote a song and she and I forgot about the absence of the ozone layer and found ourselves later turning into walking tomatos. It was definitely worth it.
All in all, San Diego was FREAKING MARVELOUS!
I have a million other things to write about, but for right now I'm giving the computer over to Gretchen, who needs to find a storage unit and an apartment (which is another story in of itself) so I'm closing for now. But I promise, now that I'm not travelling, I'll have more time to write, and write I shall.

Until next time,
I'll be having the best days EVER!
love love love love love Auggie <3