It’s been a while. Life is good, and that’s the understatement of a lifetime. I looked back over my blogs… all of them… and the only thing that popped into me head from it all was “MY GOD! Did I complain a lot!” But it all inspired me to start writing again anyway. I’m considering a weekly blog or something, mostly just for a record of my goings-on in my travels. It’s amazing how much more you remember once you’ve written about it.
My name is Joan and I live in Golden, Colorado. It’s one of the most fantastic places I’ve ever lived and I can’t see myself wanting to leave. Then again, Virginia Beach was amazingly great as well… and I had to leave in the end anyway. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now it’s around ten and I’m at a local Starbucks, Applewood, using their heat and internet for the hour until it’s time to be thrown out (forcibly). I’m drinking a Decaf Tall Pike and eyeing my Granny Smith apple with the hunger of a thousand starved children. I get shy eating in public sometimes for the simple fact that I’m afraid I’ll annoy the people around me with my chewing. You know when that person sits RIGHT next to you and starts smacking loud enough to wake the dead, seemingly oblivious to any discomfort they may be causing you. I don’t want to be that person. So I can wait to eat the apple ‘til later. Maybe my drive back to the parking lot.
There’s another fun tid bit we may get to shortly. But first.
I moved to Golden just less than two weeks ago following an incredible two week cross country road trip vacation extravaganza. I may write about the trip in a later post if I have nothing else incredibly new and exciting. For now there is too much and far too little time. My new Starbucks is on the corner of 13th and Washington, right in the middle of Historic Downtown. The street looks like it could have been in one of those old western movies once upon a time, with a dirt road instead of the pavement, and a crook in black up against the sheriff in white and gold, twenty paces apart and yelling “Draw!” I sometimes imagine all the bikers (and there are a LOT of bikers) on horseback instead, clacking into my store in cowboy boots and wranglers instead of their pedal shoes and spandex. There are bike-posts everywhere for people to chain their rides to, and I like to imagine Stallions tied there instead, whinnying in the cool spring breeze as their owners stride in for their Frappuccinos. Ha!
If you look out of the front windows of my new store you’ll see Look-Out Mountain. It has a giant white M on the top that lights up at night. In the early morning, when the mountain is the same black as the sky, it looks like a giant levitating letter in the sky, as if God’s last name was Martin or something, and he was wearing the initial, emblazoned on his jacket’s front left pocket. Look-Out Mountain is looking out over Golden, a little valley nestled between itself and another, unforgettable landmark. It’s called Table Mountain, so called because it has an un-centered cylindrical peak which appears completely flat on top, not unlike most tables tend to be. If you stood on Look-Out Mountain and look out on Table Mountain, to your left would be an arcing mountain range, connecting you to the adjacent protrusion, and hiding another Starbucks a few blocks from my own. It’s called Golden #2 (because it’s the second Starbucks in Golden) or just G2 for abbreviation’s sake. If you gazed to your right you’d see a break in the mountain chain, and Highway 6 snaking it’s way around and behind Table Mountain toward Denver which lies only a few minutes away, just barely obscured from sight. In the early evening, Table Mountain sometimes seem to glow with the aura of artificial light, emitted by the city it obscures from view.
I love walking in Golden. People say hello when you pass by. There’s so much nature all around. There are parks every few blocks, especially near the river. Oh! I haven’t mentioned the river, yet! How could I have skipped it over… it’s my favorite part! It lies just to the left of Look-Out Mountain (if you’re looking out on Table, mind you) and is composed of lots of its run-off, I’m sure. It snakes its way through the town, rushes past the Coors factory, and disappears from view just to the left of Table Mountain in the distance. It’s my main landmark while I’m driving, walking, and just generally exploring my new little town. It’s never quiet there. I’m not just talking about the rushing of the waters, either. There are always people by the water, even when it’s snowing. People are walking, jogging, biking, sitting, kayaking, and soon will be swimming, by the steadily flowing currents. I followed the water to the Police Station, the town Library, a trailer park, a water treatment plant, and a hiking trail. In the other direction, past the main street and it’s restaurants, hotels, and shops on the water, I found apartments, empty lots, the factory, and trails into the mountains. If you follow it further, you end up in Denver. Past that I’m not sure, but it connects everything, and everything depends on it. It inspires me. I love it.
I walk to work from the parking lot a few blocks away. It started with me wanting to save on gas, but now, it’s just so beautiful, I really look forward to my walks, and feel sad if I have to go somewhere outside of a comfortable walking distance. As always, since my trip to San Diego those long years ago, each step is comforting. I love the feel of my feet rhythmically hitting the pavement, one in front of the other, over and over again. I stand with my head held high, shoulders back, a little smile on my face. I’m ready to say hello or good morning to people that pass by. I savor the breeze on my cheeks and the sun on my back. I try to take in the view, like taking a video in my mind to play again and again on low days or long nights. I’m happy, truly happy, and I have been for such a long time. It’s all that matters to me now. It’s along the lines of “Who cares? I’m happy.” You should try it sometime.
It’s getting late now. I want to post this before I leave for the parking lot. I should wrap it up for the night. Let’s remember today, just for posterity’s sake. I woke up on the couch at my friend and co-worker, Heather’s house. She and her husband were in California for a few days and I stayed at her house and watched her rat, Sweetie, and her fish, Gus Gills, while they were away. I woke around 9:20 and got ready lazily. I ate a biscuit I had made and took one for the road as I collected my apron and phone and made sure for the third or fourth time that I did indeed have the keys before I set out into the morning and the walk to work. I clocked in and hopped onto the floor with Lisa Betty, a sweet and grumbly, heavily happy-pilled, wonderful woman, and Christine, a California style blonde, tan and very smiley girl, once described to me as jovial. It fits her perfectly. John was there as well, I believe. He’s in a band, The Gromet, and gave me a copy of their first CD (they’re nearly ready to release their second and I intend to see their shows starting in June). We passed the morning nicely. As the day wore into the afternoon we passed the time with regulars like the boys from the mountaineering shop down the road who misread my name on the schedule once and tend to refer to me as Juan, and Aaron, with his Iced Quad Espresso. We talked and complained about the new Frappuccinos. We laughed and sang. It was a pretty great shift. Christine, Lisa, and John were replaced by Tiffany, a pessimistic sweetheart, and Brie, a talkative and utterly loveable walking disaster. I was feeling lazy, but was rather productive in spite of it. In my last half hour I ended up doing three or four loads of dishes, the bathrooms, and one espresso bar. I also did the condiment bar, stocked the whole bean coffee, and ate an apple fritter. : )
After work I got an estimate for the tattoo touch up and expansion I’ve been considering ($120… not bad) and switched a bunch of shifts to help out some co-workers. I headed to Heather’s, ate some food, read my blogs, and picked up my stuff since she’s back in town as of 6:30 tonight. I put my things and Lily in the car after checking and re-checking that I had everything before locking her keys in her house, and headed out looking for some internet. Now it’s time for bed. I’ll be posting more soon, hopefully within the week. If I don’t… bug me about it. I want to stay inspired.
I love you.
Joan
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, March 10, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
What's on your mind?
Well I love her
And she's leaving
She met a man that plays in a band last weekend
And he lives out on the west coast
And she says shes got to go
Cause it's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
Anything could change her mind,
One sunset or one regret
She could turn around, come back and be mine
Happy endings happen all the time
She's almost finished packing
There's over 2,000 miles
Alot could happen
Theres going to be days and days of long stretches
Maybe she'll come back to her senses
Cause it's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
Anything could change her mind
One sunset or one regret
She could turn around, come back and be mine
Happy endings happen all the time
Well I ain't waiting on no phone call
I ain't getting my hopes up and all
I ain't setting myself up for a fall
It's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
Anything could change her mind
One sunset or one regret
She could turn around, come back and be mine
Then everything would be just fine
Yea happy endings happen all the time
It's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
California's burning, burning, burning to the ground...and my head is turning, turning, turning round and round...alie's stomach's churning, churning, like a storm today...and your mother's crying, crying, closing up the safe...and I'm here, wondering where the sun has gone...driving through to Mexico,asking why there's no one home...Encinitas likes to miss me, like nobody's child..and my eyes like rainy Tuesdays, like to watch you smile...and I'm here, wondering where the sun has gone...driving through a Midwest storm,asking why there's no one home...
I'd like to rest my heavy head tonight
On a bed of California stars
I'd like to lay my weary bones tonight
On a bed of California stars
I'd love to feel
Your hand touching mine
And tell me why I must keep working on
Yes I'd give my life
To lay my head tonight on a bed
Of California stars I
'd like to dream
My troubles all away
On a bed of California stars
Christmas break of ninety eight just flipped me upside down
One coast out to the other following the sound
Headed west to get the best of what we all knew then
One ocean to another waves come crashing down
Carrying just me and Stephanie she held my hand
Told me why I was
Blazing down that highway on my way to
Rock Star Land
California, a place they say glistens gold.
I wanna go there and never come back home, yeah.
Staring up at freeway signs in dreams that make me sad
One coast out to the other
One ocean to another
We cruised out to the other side
Loved us in Nebraska how they cheered us in Mattane
Told me why I was
Blazing down that highway on my way to
Rock Star Land
California, a place they say glistens gold.
I wanna go there and never come back home, yeah.
everybody got out of the water
in a lonesome convertible
with lipstick portables
you're part horrible (you're part horrible)
you're part affordable (you're part affordable)
... to san diego
was i seeing you or seeing double
with the palm trees adorable
in a town so explorable
you're part horrible (you're part horrible)
you're part affordable (you're part affordable)
you're part horrible (you're part horrible)
and that's why we drove to san diego
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
I can feel it in my bones
I'm a careless season it started just the other day
And what'd you expectT
hat just for no reason I packed it in and drove away
Now I don't mean to pin this one on you, darlin'
It's time I found something good
When it comes right down
You're just one of many people that never really understood
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
As I drove into a city painted on the desert
With everthing 10 miles high
Hard to believe that nobody will see what I see
Through my blood shot eyes
Now I don't mean to sound so young and naive
But I think we've found something good,
And now I can feel me leaving who I used to be
As we're driving into Hollywood
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
And now I know why
I can feel it in my bones
I'm a careless season it started when I woke today
And now that I'm here
It's all so very clear
The reason that I drove away
Now I don't mean to call so early now, darlin'
But the waves just feel so good
And I'll always come around
And watch the sun go down
Just like you knew I would
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
And now I know why
Hundreds of songs about it... there must be a good reason... see for yourself... http://www.answers.com/topic/list-of-songs-about-california?cat=entertainment
It's times like these
that I want to get away
Times when the houses no longer
bleed into the sky...
but the days do seem to bleed
into one another.
And when each scar is parallel to the one before...
No, I don't think you do understand-
there are no overstatements here.
I will keep this grudge like I
"kept" that photo we took
that day
last June.
Too soon I will drive away from this
personal wreckage.
Too soon I will forget your name
and your face.
Too soon, after two days, and two days, and two more,
I drive away
with the wind at my back
and in my hair
with my ease
in the seat beside me.
No agenda,
no distractions-
just miles of highway in both directions
on recycled tires;
a circle of life new age style:
rubber to road,
the pedal to the metal.
And I will wake with the sun if I so choose-
not to make him his secret pre-dawn pick-me-up
(a quad espresso macchiato)
but to hang with him in this sky
on these lazy winter days.
I will smile on all those who I see
I'll eat nothing but bagels for weeks and weeks
living from day to day
penny to penny.
From here to there.
From this Starbucks cafe in wind blown Orlando...
To the Hot Monkey Love cafe in downtown San Diego to see
Bushwalla sing
Ghettoblaster
and Self Depricating Hip Hop.
Throw in a friendly face, barely recognisable after all these years
and off I'll flow
down the road.
Look,
there I go.
And she's leaving
She met a man that plays in a band last weekend
And he lives out on the west coast
And she says shes got to go
Cause it's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
Anything could change her mind,
One sunset or one regret
She could turn around, come back and be mine
Happy endings happen all the time
She's almost finished packing
There's over 2,000 miles
Alot could happen
Theres going to be days and days of long stretches
Maybe she'll come back to her senses
Cause it's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
Anything could change her mind
One sunset or one regret
She could turn around, come back and be mine
Happy endings happen all the time
Well I ain't waiting on no phone call
I ain't getting my hopes up and all
I ain't setting myself up for a fall
It's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
Anything could change her mind
One sunset or one regret
She could turn around, come back and be mine
Then everything would be just fine
Yea happy endings happen all the time
It's a long, long way from Myrtle Beach to L.A.
California's burning, burning, burning to the ground...and my head is turning, turning, turning round and round...alie's stomach's churning, churning, like a storm today...and your mother's crying, crying, closing up the safe...and I'm here, wondering where the sun has gone...driving through to Mexico,asking why there's no one home...Encinitas likes to miss me, like nobody's child..and my eyes like rainy Tuesdays, like to watch you smile...and I'm here, wondering where the sun has gone...driving through a Midwest storm,asking why there's no one home...
I'd like to rest my heavy head tonight
On a bed of California stars
I'd like to lay my weary bones tonight
On a bed of California stars
I'd love to feel
Your hand touching mine
And tell me why I must keep working on
Yes I'd give my life
To lay my head tonight on a bed
Of California stars I
'd like to dream
My troubles all away
On a bed of California stars
Christmas break of ninety eight just flipped me upside down
One coast out to the other following the sound
Headed west to get the best of what we all knew then
One ocean to another waves come crashing down
Carrying just me and Stephanie she held my hand
Told me why I was
Blazing down that highway on my way to
Rock Star Land
California, a place they say glistens gold.
I wanna go there and never come back home, yeah.
Staring up at freeway signs in dreams that make me sad
One coast out to the other
One ocean to another
We cruised out to the other side
Loved us in Nebraska how they cheered us in Mattane
Told me why I was
Blazing down that highway on my way to
Rock Star Land
California, a place they say glistens gold.
I wanna go there and never come back home, yeah.
everybody got out of the water
in a lonesome convertible
with lipstick portables
you're part horrible (you're part horrible)
you're part affordable (you're part affordable)
... to san diego
was i seeing you or seeing double
with the palm trees adorable
in a town so explorable
you're part horrible (you're part horrible)
you're part affordable (you're part affordable)
you're part horrible (you're part horrible)
and that's why we drove to san diego
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
I can feel it in my bones
I'm a careless season it started just the other day
And what'd you expectT
hat just for no reason I packed it in and drove away
Now I don't mean to pin this one on you, darlin'
It's time I found something good
When it comes right down
You're just one of many people that never really understood
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
As I drove into a city painted on the desert
With everthing 10 miles high
Hard to believe that nobody will see what I see
Through my blood shot eyes
Now I don't mean to sound so young and naive
But I think we've found something good,
And now I can feel me leaving who I used to be
As we're driving into Hollywood
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
And now I know why
I can feel it in my bones
I'm a careless season it started when I woke today
And now that I'm here
It's all so very clear
The reason that I drove away
Now I don't mean to call so early now, darlin'
But the waves just feel so good
And I'll always come around
And watch the sun go down
Just like you knew I would
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
But I don't ask why
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
And now I know why
Hundreds of songs about it... there must be a good reason... see for yourself... http://www.answers.com/topic/list-of-songs-about-california?cat=entertainment
It's times like these
that I want to get away
Times when the houses no longer
bleed into the sky...
but the days do seem to bleed
into one another.
And when each scar is parallel to the one before...
No, I don't think you do understand-
there are no overstatements here.
I will keep this grudge like I
"kept" that photo we took
that day
last June.
Too soon I will drive away from this
personal wreckage.
Too soon I will forget your name
and your face.
Too soon, after two days, and two days, and two more,
I drive away
with the wind at my back
and in my hair
with my ease
in the seat beside me.
No agenda,
no distractions-
just miles of highway in both directions
on recycled tires;
a circle of life new age style:
rubber to road,
the pedal to the metal.
And I will wake with the sun if I so choose-
not to make him his secret pre-dawn pick-me-up
(a quad espresso macchiato)
but to hang with him in this sky
on these lazy winter days.
I will smile on all those who I see
I'll eat nothing but bagels for weeks and weeks
living from day to day
penny to penny.
From here to there.
From this Starbucks cafe in wind blown Orlando...
To the Hot Monkey Love cafe in downtown San Diego to see
Bushwalla sing
Ghettoblaster
and Self Depricating Hip Hop.
Throw in a friendly face, barely recognisable after all these years
and off I'll flow
down the road.
Look,
there I go.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
make-believe that i've titled this and put in the proper capitalization
Let's pretend there's a rant here that's a couple paragraphs long. It's angry and frustrated and there are a lot of capital letters. It talks about everything that needs to be gotten off of my chest and everything that's making me stare appathetically at this screen right now.
Let's pretend that I have now completed writing this very long very soothing blog and I can now sleep soundly and tomorrow will be okay. Afterall... things can't get much worse, can they? Oh wait, that's what I thought yesterday... then today happened.
Nevermind.
Let's just cross our fingers and hope and skip the tiring technicalities. I can barely stay conscious as it is...
Here's a pretend thanks for sitting through this long and complicated rant. I'm pretending to feel better having pretended to get all that crap off of my chest.
Here's to tonight being almost over and tomorrow only being 24 hours long.
cheers
Let's pretend that I have now completed writing this very long very soothing blog and I can now sleep soundly and tomorrow will be okay. Afterall... things can't get much worse, can they? Oh wait, that's what I thought yesterday... then today happened.
Nevermind.
Let's just cross our fingers and hope and skip the tiring technicalities. I can barely stay conscious as it is...
Here's a pretend thanks for sitting through this long and complicated rant. I'm pretending to feel better having pretended to get all that crap off of my chest.
Here's to tonight being almost over and tomorrow only being 24 hours long.
cheers
Friday, February 22, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
you got a fast car... and I got a plan to get us out of here
A paper box with scribbled words stares at me from it's pedistal like the dishes from the counter, expectantly. "Words... more words" it nags. Yes, yes. I will.California is calling with a vengance. You can't just leave her- not after a lifetime. She stays. She embeds herself in your blood and you feel at every moment just how far you are from her. And I do long for her.Ratiug calls to me as well, and I don't answer. Delilah and Bella stare at me when I enter the room and as I walk by them to the bed. They stare at me in the early mornings when I walk by them again to leave for work. Then they go about their daily lives I'm sure. I'm neither in their minds nor hearts once I pass from view. I neglect them like the dishes which still glare as I type; like the laundry which I climb over with more and more effort as it piles ever higher.Everywhere I look there is more that I abuse and neglect. I say I care- but I waste and ignore and gorge myself on all that I know is wrong. I prefer to sit over standing. I prefer to driver over walking. Stairs are daunting when the time comes to go to bed and the couch looks more and more inviting. Motivation, I say! Motivation is lacking- and I am suffocating.
So what? I lie and complain and type out my angst? No. no. I won't reduce myself further. I'll stand and scrub and sort and scat and sing my heart out in the car on my way to work. I'll wash and work and will not reast until my mind is completely cleaned out- all the cobwebs irraticated... or at least relocated. It's odd and disheartening when inspiration turns to depression. When awe becomes angst. It never fails. The strongest emotions and urges shift poles and swing me 'round in spirals 'till I'm seasick and want to stop this world and rest for a while. But a slip of a green apron card into the pocket of my green apron has picked me up in a way the sender cannot comprehend- and so I have an up to work on. So I will not rest... but first I'll get some sleep.
There's a big day coming. I am terrified.
So what? I lie and complain and type out my angst? No. no. I won't reduce myself further. I'll stand and scrub and sort and scat and sing my heart out in the car on my way to work. I'll wash and work and will not reast until my mind is completely cleaned out- all the cobwebs irraticated... or at least relocated. It's odd and disheartening when inspiration turns to depression. When awe becomes angst. It never fails. The strongest emotions and urges shift poles and swing me 'round in spirals 'till I'm seasick and want to stop this world and rest for a while. But a slip of a green apron card into the pocket of my green apron has picked me up in a way the sender cannot comprehend- and so I have an up to work on. So I will not rest... but first I'll get some sleep.
There's a big day coming. I am terrified.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Playing...
So I was fooling around on my computer and I discovered that I have an awesome photo editing program... so I fooled around with that.
I probably shouldn't be up at all considering the opening shift tomorrow and the S palace... *I just made that up...*
But I figure it's for a good cause... LOVE! (for a friend)
Hope you like it hun!
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